


Where All My Journeys End

by Dr_Hoo



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Philinda - Freeform, post-Fun and Games, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 03:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13515441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Hoo/pseuds/Dr_Hoo
Summary: Their paths had diverged almost as soon as they'd found themselves in this post-apocalyptic hellscape, but they would always find their way back to each other.





	Where All My Journeys End

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe it's been three years since I've been inspired enough and had the free time to write. I started writing this immediately after watching 'Fun and Games' and made a point of finishing it before watching 'The Last Day' so it's a bit of a canon-divergence from what actually happened. A bit of wishful thinking on my part. As always, thanks to Joy, my eagle-eyed editor for wrangling my words into submission.

She was not going to die on this god-forsaken rock.  
  
Sputtering and trying to regulate her breathing in the thin, dusty atmosphere, Melinda carefully heaved herself into a sitting position. Mindful of the excruciating throbbing in her thigh, she gently slid her injured leg out in front of her and leaned back on her hands. Pushing her wind-blown hair out of her face, she slowly scanned the desolate terrain to make sure that none of the surrounding shadows were moving.  
  
There had to be a plan. Fitz wouldn’t have had her sent to the surface if it would mean her death.  
  
For one dark moment, memories of the Framework’s ‘Doctor’ flashed through her mind, flooding her veins with ice, but she quickly dismissed them. She had no idea how he’d found them, but Melinda was sure that the Han Solo wannabe she’d seen bending Kasius’ ear was their Fitz; their Fitz would not have let the Kree leave her in this wasteland without some form of rescue plan in place.  
  
However, she was pretty sure letting the roaches find her was not part of that plan.  
  
A hissing-growl off to her left had her leaping to her feet, swearing mightily under her breath as the pain in her thigh once again shot through her like a hot lance. Swaying precariously, she waited for her body to reacclimatize to the pain and searched for the source of the sound as well as and somewhere to hide.  
  
A grey ripple with weirdly-angled legs scurried through the shadows, darting from boulder to boulder, coming steadily closer.  
  
Kicking viciously at the ground with her good leg, May knocked a sizeable chunk of rock loose. Hefting it in her right hand, she eyed the terrain of her only escape route, spotting an outcrop about 50 feet away. It would have to do. Adrenaline flooded her veins and she knew she had this last shot.  
  
The roach crept closer, what passed for its head bobbing up and down; it seemed to be trying to catch her scent on the air. Trying to keep as much weight as possible on her uninjured leg, Melinda tucked the rock against her side like a football, sucked in as deep a breath as she could, and took off in a sprint for the outcrop.  
  
Now sure of her presence, the roach set off after her, its scrambling legs eating up the distance between them faster than she’d hoped. Careening towards the pile of rocks at breakneck speed, Melinda slammed her left foot down on ledge and launched herself into the air. Twisting her body, she fell toward the ground with the rock stretched out in front of her just as the roach came within reach. She slammed down on top of the creature,  driving her makeshift weapon as hard as she could into its skull, only letting up when she cracked against the stone underneath.  
  
She and the alien tumbled into a heap, black blood seeping into the gravel beneath them.  
  
Pushing herself up off the creature, May swiped at her jacket in a futile effort to brush of the dust that now clung to it permanently and double checked that her attacker had been alone.  
  
“Ancient has-been, my ass.”  
  
“Melinda May!”  
  
_Shit_  
  
Apparently the goddamned universe was still not going to let her catch a break.  
  
The blue skin of the Kree guard stood out in stark contrast to the shadowy landscape as he strode toward her with obvious purpose.  
  
Melinda sighed heavily, crouched and shoved her hand back into the warm mess at her feet. Snagging her weapon, she stood back up and brandished the now black, oily rock menacingly.  
  
“If you don’t want to end up like this guy,” she hissed, “you’d better back off.”  
  
The guard, who, she realized, seemed strangely familiar, merely smiled.  
  
“You needn’t worry, Melinda May. I am not here to harm you. Fitz asked that I come to your aid. You are needed to save humanity.”  
  
She weighed his words carefully, looking for the trap.  
  
“Please Melinda,” the strange man implored. “We need to get you somewhere safe so your injuries can be tended to.” Before she could talk herself back into fighting mode, an immense wave of fatigue and relief swept over her, and she sank slowly to her knees. After days of holding herself together, her body had made the decision for her.    
  
Wiry arms settled around her and her world went black.  
  
_I knew he’d have a plan._  
  
***  
  
The world came rushing back all at once.  
  
Melinda’s eyes snapped open; she shot up from where she’d been lying, only to be halted by strong hands on her shoulders. She couldn’t shake them off. Her over-taxed muscles still wouldn’t obey her instinct to fight.  
  
Voices clamoured around her as she struggled, before the din finally coalesced into one word that broke through her haze of panic.  
  
“May!”  
  
_It couldn’t be._  
  
“Melinda!”

“Phil?”  
  
She froze as his face came into focus. After everything she’d be through, her mind wrestled with the idea that it really was Coulson holding her down. Between aliens, ghosts, LMDs, the Framework, and time travel, a hallucination would almost be expected. However, as she sucked in a ragged breath, Melinda caught the scent that had brought her comfort for decades — Phil’s scent —and all of the fight drained out of her.  
  
“Yes, Melinda, it’s me. Please calm down. I promise you’re safe.”  
  
Exhausted, Melinda closed her eyes and sagged forward into his arms, dropping her forehead to his shoulder. His right hand came up to cradle the back of her head, fingers sinking into her matted hair, and May felt the hot sting of tears pooling behind her eyelids.  
  
“You followed me,” she whispered into his jacket.  
  
The shuddering breath that ran through his body as Phil pulled her deeper into his embrace was the only hint of just how close to the edge they both were.  
  
“Always,” he whispered back.  
  
They sat in silence for a few moments, content to just breathe each other in before May’s tactical brain could no longer stay quiet. Pulling back just enough to hold his gaze, she asked, “Where are we?”  
  
Phil offered her a lopsided smile, gently squeezing the back of her head. “I know you said that you’d earned a night in your own bed, but I don’t think this is quite what you had in mind.”  
  
Taking in her surroundings, May’s eyes went wide as she recognized the sleeping pods she’d spent more hours in than she’d like to count.  
  
“The Zephyr? How is that possible?”  
  
Coulson chuckled darkly. “Apparently Fitz designed it to survive a global catastrophe.”  
  
Melinda could only stare back, trying to take it all in, but Phil’s fingers were threading through her hair and she was just so tired. Leaning into his caress, she let the words that had been on the tip of her tongue since she’d woken up to his face to slip through her lips. “I’ve missed you so much.”  
  
Phil’s eyes shone in the dim light of the room. His left hand came up to cup her cheek, running a finger over her brow. “Oh Mel, I know exactly how you feel.”  
  
“I’m all for touching reunions guys, but I think you’re starting to freak FitzSimmons out a little bit.”  
  
May snorted indelicately as Daisy burst their bubble. Drawing back, she found their makeshift family gathered just inside the door to the sleeping area.  
  
“I’m not freaked out,” Fitz’s brogue was a welcome sound. “You, Jemma?”  
  
“No, not freaked out at all, Fitz,” Simmons’ voice was laced with laughter, and Melinda couldn’t help the tiny smile that tugged at her lips.  
  
“For the record, I’m a bit freaked out.”  
  
Mack’s admission in his deep baritone was the breaking point. Coulson dropped his hands and laughed outright, Elena smacked Mack upside the head, and Daisy doubled over in her mirth. Melinda let her smile take over her face. It felt like a lifetime since they’d all laughed.  
  
Phil caught her gaze and his grin got even wider when he noticed her amusement.  
  
As much as she wanted to bask in the glow of having their family back together, Melinda’s eyelids started to droop under the weight of everything she’d been through these last few days … hell, last few months.  
  
Of course, Coulson noticed.  
  
“Okay guys, I’m sure May appreciates the welcoming committee—" Melinda silenced him with a brush of her fingers over the back of his hand.  
  
“May can speak for herself, thank you,” she interjected with her best S.O. voice before softening ever so slightly and addressing her teammates. “Thanks … for coming to find me.”  
  
Out of sight of the rest of the team, Coulson flipped his hand underneath hers, and tangled their fingers at the waver of vulnerability she couldn’t quite keep out of her voice.  
  
Everyone answered at once, but Daisy managed to make herself heard over the sudden din. “We’ll always be here for you, May.”  
  
A chorus of ‘yeahs’ followed, and Phil squeezed her fingers in agreement before the room descended into an awkward silence.  
  
Ever the leader, Coulson once again took charge of the situation. “Okay, we could all use some rest. Enoch’s offered to take the first watch, seeing as he apparently doesn’t need to sleep, so go get some shuteye.”  
  
As the team dutifully filed out of the room, Melinda’s eyes were on Phil. His scruff had filled out a bit since she’d last seen him, the grizzled tips making him look older. She felt like she could just stare at him for days. It had only been a handful of weeks since they’d escaped the Framework and May could still remember a life without him. The first time she’d seen his face in that backwards world, it had felt as if a key had slotted into place within her heart. Looking at him now, she had the same feeling. They’d been dancing around each other for a lifetime, though marriages, divorces, both of their deaths, and even alien invasions, and May was never fond of dancing in the first place.  
  
She tightened her grip on his fingers as Phil made to ease himself off of the bed, stilling his progress.  
  
“You need sleep, May,” he replied, though he didn’t let go, instead running his thumb over her knuckles.  
  
It was what she needed to take the next step. Holding his gaze, she whispered, “Need you more.”  
  
Phil’s eyes went wide as he realized just what she was saying.  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
She nodded slowly. “I’m not the one who suggested we take a few steps back, Phil.”  
  
Coulson huffed and May had to bite down on her cheek to keep from smiling. “I didn’t want to presume … and you agreed, Melinda.”  
  
“And then a day later we were sucked into a dystopian space future and I ended up with a pipe through my leg.”  
  
Phil winced, his left hand hovering uncertainly over her thigh. She snagged his fingers and pressed them gently to her now freshly-bandaged wound. His bionic hand was warmer than the rest of him, bringing relief to her torn muscles. May couldn’t be sure how much he could feel through his synthetic fingers, but the darkening of his gaze suggested it was plenty. Melinda forced herself to breathe evenly in the hopes of calming her racing heart. She’d taken the first step. There was no going back now.  
  
“I’m tired, Phil. I’m tired of waiting, of wondering, of holding back until it’s the right time. With the kind of lives we have, there’s never going to be the ‘right time’. If we’re not careful, our time is going to run out.”  
  
Coulson nodded, releasing her hand to slide a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and cradle her cheek.  
  
“I’m ready for what comes next, but you have to promise me one thing.”  
  
May tried to break his gaze, but he held her gently in place. She knew what was coming and she wasn’t sure that she could give him what he needed. Years of habit and instinct were not something she could discard easily, and honestly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Before he could put it into words, Melinda stalled him by leaning forward and framing his face in her hands.  
  
“I will always do whatever it takes to protect you, Phil.”  
  
Coulson let her go and covered her trembling hand with his own, holding her steady. Her emotions were running close to the surface, itching beneath her skin. She wanted so desperately to just let go, but after holding back for so long, Melinda didn’t know how.  
  
Phil leaned into her palm with a heavy sigh. “Not if it means losing you, Melinda. These last few days, not knowing what had happened to you, and then hearing you’d been sent to the surface….”  
  
She shook her head, trying to come up with an argument he’d listen to, but Phil just ploughed ahead.  
  
“I know I probably haven’t been the best at showing it … in fact I know I’m terrible at showing it. I’ve taken advantage and let you down, but I hope you’ll forgive all of that because you mean everything to me, Melinda. There’s no point in saving me, if there’s no you.”  
  
May stared back silently, frozen in place while her heart raced out of control. Words ran though her brain as she tried to formulate a reply, but nothing fit. Verbal communication had never been her strong suit anyway. Instead, she tugged him towards her and fit her mouth to his.  
  
The pained whimper that escaped the back of his throat as he leaned into her, slipping his hand back into her hair, was all the encouragement she needed to push her tongue past his lips and deepen the kiss. He tasted like dirt and blood, and it felt like home.  
  
_Finally_  
  
His left hand settled heavily between her shoulder blades, eliminating what space was left between them as they found a rhythm.  
  
Kissing Coulson wasn’t new. They’d had more than one op in their youth where they’d locked lips to sell a cover. She had fond memories of his gentle sighs and his fingers fumbling with her bra as he tried to commit fully to the act.  
  
Kissing Phil, however, was another thing entirely.  
  
There was no holding back. Phil gave as good as he got, catching her lower lip between his teeth as affirmation gave way to desire. She couldn’t get close enough. Sinking back into the musty pillows, Melinda slid her hands over his shoulders and urged him down along with her, revelling in his warm weight as he brought his knees to either side of her hips and pressed her into the mattress. His name escaped on a gasp as Phil released her mouth to trail his lips along her neck and murmured her name into her ear. Scrabbling along the waistline of his jeans, her fingertips finally made contact with skin, sliding up under his shirt, along well-defined muscles he always kept hidden, to trace the edges of his scar. Phil groaned and rocked into her as she arched her hips to meet him.  
  
White-hot pain shot through her body, tearing a cry from her throat as she went deathly still.  
  
“Oh God, May!” Phil gasped, practically flinging himself off her body to retreat to the end of the bed, leaving her cold and frustrated. “I’m so sorry.”  
  
“Wasn’t you,” she replied through gritted teeth, her head tilted back and eyes trained on the ceiling so he wouldn’t notice the few stray tears that managed to escape the iron grip she had on her emotions.  
  
He may not have been able to see them, but Coulson had an uncanny ability to hear what she didn’t say.  
  
Gingerly, he edged himself between her body and the wall of the bunk, bracing his weight on either side of her head so he could hold her gaze.  
  
“Hey,” he whispered, easing himself onto his side as she rolled carefully to face him. “It’s okay.” His thumb swept away the moisture on her cheek and Melinda had to close her eyes against the tide of affection that threatened to overtake her. Her walls were down and she was still trying to find a new equilibrium. Phil gave her this moment to hide, running his fingers through her hair, but he didn’t stay silent for long.  
  
“This is just a delay. We’re not stepping back, Melinda. I’m not going to be able to turn this off again, and if I’ve read this right, I don’t think either of us want to.”  
  
Eyes still closed, she gave him an almost imperceptible shake of her head in agreement, marveling at how well he’d always been able to read her.  
  
“You’re right that there’s never going to be a good time, but I’m so damned sick of almost losing you when I don’t really have you in the first place. So, no more steps back. It’s been thirty years. We’ve waited long enough.”  
  
Melinda finally opened her eyes and pinned him with a glare, pointedly glancing down and her injured thigh before bringing her gaze back to his.  
  
He at least had the good grace to look sheepish.  
  
“Okay, so we’re going to have to wait a little bit longer. Think of it as motivation for us to get ourselves the hell out of here.”  
  
She huffed a short laugh before dropping her forehead to his chest, tucking herself under his chin. Drawing a deep breath, May let his scent calm her. Phil pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and rested his hand warmly on the back of her neck, gently working out knots that had been gradually tightening since they’d found themselves in their current mess.  
   
Sleep was coming quickly, the last of her reserves draining away as her heartbeat slowed in time with his. The pull of oblivion was undeniable, but she couldn’t let herself succumb just yet. She still had something to say. Come morning, the world needed saving, and they would be front and centre, side-by-side, doing what they did best. This moment would have to go back on the shelf until the danger had passed, but she wasn’t ready to let it go without them both being sure of their footing. She wanted to make certain their next steps together were in synch.  
  
Edging closer to the heat of his body, careful not to jar her thigh, Melinda slid her arm around his waist and pressed a slow kiss just over his heart.  
  
“I love you too, Phil.”  
  
The sharp intake of his breath, and the answering squeeze of his hand on her neck, followed her into the darkness. The weight of the world might be literally on their shoulders, but for now, Melinda had never felt lighter.


End file.
